Reflecting and Remembering: Spencer Cone III '00

“Losing someone so perfect…causes a person to reflect on their purpose.” Spencer Cone III, a member of the TG class of 2000, remembers the first time he met Jennifer. It was the first day of school at TG, during their homeroom period. Their lockers were right next to each other, and while Spencer says “it wasn’t a ‘love at first sight’ for the two of us,” they did become friends, running into each other outside of school at gatherings and events, and working together in their advanced math classes (Spencer was, of course, always willing to provide whatever help Jennifer asked of him).

Jennifer’s writing skills outpaced Spencer’s, so he “never got the invite to join her in honors English.” What he got instead were notes. “Man,” he said, “There was nothing better than getting a handwritten note from that woman…to make you feel like the most amazing person in the world.”

Their love story is a classic tale of high school sweethearts. “She was dating her first ‘official’ boyfriend, my best bud Jake,” Spencer told us. “It had the ultra-serious high school timestamp of about 4 weeks.” The relationship didn’t last long, and as the two of them began senior year, Spencer “bit the bullet to tell [Jennifer] that I had feelings for her. And it turned out the feelings were mutual.”

The thing that she noticed that night? Spencer’s outfit. “In the last letter she wrote to me, she said it was the football jersey and tie that caught her eye.”

Now, over 20 years later, Spencer still remembers how he felt that night. “There is no better feeling in the world than falling in love and knowing that you have found the one,” he said. “I remember it like it was yesterday. That feeling you get when she is all you can think about, that huge head rush that comes on as soon as you see her.” His love story with Jennifer, he told us, is the greatest story of his life.

It was a tragic loss for Spencer and for the whole TG community when Jennifer, after battling stomach cancer, passed away. “Her death at 39 fast-forwarded my life for me a bit.” Spencer says that losing the love of his life forced him to ask himself bigger questions:

“What was my greater purpose? What would they say about me at my funeral? Of course, I want to be known as a great father. At the end of the day, nobody is going to care about how many [products] you sell or millions that you make.” His path, which had for so long involved Jennifer, was set on a new trajectory, one that was crystal clear: “it’s about the positive impact you have in a person’s life, and how many times you can replicate it.”

Today, Spencer Cone III is gearing up to coach the 9th grade football team at Totino-Grace. This isn’t his first year back–Jennifer had been the driving force that encouraged him to return. “She knew better than most that Totino-Grace helped me ‘zig’ when I could have very easily ‘zagged.’ She knew for me that it was my way…to be a part of something that is bigger than just me.”

He brings a message that he hopes will resonate with his players, because it’s the message that he lives by. “It’s a very simple message: make every day count, and try to be better today than you were yesterday.” Simple, maybe, but definitely worthwhile.

“It’s a message we hear every day, but nothing is truer, because you never know when the big guy is going to call your number. I hope that my players are grateful for the life that they have been given and, in return, show up in everything that they do.”

Preparing for the season, and to coach his son when he begins his journey at TG this fall, Spencer knows that Jennifer would be proud. “I just think she would be overly excited for me, that I get to be with my son, doing what I love to do, at the place that means the most to me, even after life served us all a total train wreck. I try to do right by her every day, and I feel like reconnecting with Totino-Grace keeps me closer to her.”

When they started dating, moments after the clock hit midnight and ushered in a new millennium, the story had already begun. That moment was simply the turn of a page, closing out one chapter and moving to the next. Now, 25 years later, Spencer continues on in yet another chapter of his life. And whatever might be written in these pages, he intends to cherish every moment.